Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Wednesday 1/27

(Robert Francis)- 05:18
Captain's log, day 347. I do not remember time before this...we've been stuck here for too long. We lost Michael yesterday, it was a deep moral blow for the crew. On the positive side some food washed ashore yesterday and provided us with a great feast. We have begun to form a primitive tent government. While many of us have opted for a lemur democracy Michael claimed there was need for a michaelocracy. Fortunately this is no longer an issue... Hannah has caught some sort of tent fever and will no doubt lose her mind in addition to her voice. It's only a matter of time. She has been quarantined to a "very cold" and "very scary" cave. On the plus side I slept well. Two tent checks at 2 and 5 am. I've forgotten the taste of water and the sound of joy...but all is not lost.

(Lewis Purcell) -08:33
I am sitting in the sunlight on a bench not far from our tent. My computer is frozen and my skin tends to stick to it. Today is the 66th anniversary of the end of the fascist blockade of Leningrad (St.Petersburg) in which 1.5 million people died - it's a holiday I am very proud of. Tonight I hope to celebrate with some fireworks. Anyways back to the tent - I think my friends in St. Pete would be glad I slept in a tent with an air raid siren - that went off at 2 and 5 in the morning - it would make them think i was commemorating what it was like to live during the blockade. I think Claire made a good point last night - WHO WOULD LEAVE THE TENT AT 5 in the morning ANYWAYS?!? WHY ARE THEY CHECKING US THEN?!?

(Tim Lin) - 09:39
The line monitors are trying to kill us. Tent checks at 2 and 5 are almost the stupidest things ever. That's ok. I just woke up. I actually slept ok last night. Lewis is seeing sparkles from the corners of his eyes. I think he's going mad. We're all probably going mad. I wonder how far we can keep going before we all die. We're still eating Michael Gay first. And to end on a random note, I found out yesterday that Dragonforce uses the phrase "So far away" in no fewer than 7 of their songs. "Oceans collide inside of us all," but it's ok. We will carry on "through the fire and flames." Or in this case, the freezing weather. I guess that we would kinda be "inside the winter storm."

(Claire McIlvenny) - 10.34
I agree with Tim, the line monitors are clearly enjoying our suffering. I could understand the tent check at 2am, and my new position on an air mattress was quite comfortable. But ANOTHER TENT CHECK AT 5.00 AM? COME ON! It was really rather unnecessary - why would ANYONE have left at 5am? That makes NO sense. AND THEN they had THE NERVE to tell us we had grace for an hour! AT FIVE IN THE MORNING! The nerve...
Evidently black tenting is getting to me, illustrated by the capitalization of several words in this post. My shift started at 9am and goes until 2.30pm, when I go to class. I genuinely hope I survive that long. It's about 40 degrees outside (a.k.a. about 5 celsius). I can't feel my feet anymore and my hands are starting to go to. Luckily I haven't gotten to the stage Lewis is at where he is seeing sparkles out of the corner of his eyes... that can only mean imminent death.
On the plus side, however, I am enjoying listening to the tent say vitamins in an English accent now - Vit - a - mins rather than Vye - ta- mins after our mass drug consumption last night. It's comforting :)

We are also going to make Youtube videos of:
1. Everyone Tickling Cameron
2. Michael's Death

(Tim Lin) - 11:28
I was walking back to the tent for my shift. There were fat people making fun of our tarp design. They were mocking the fact that our tarps were so low to the ground. What a bunch of losers. It should be pretty obvious that a lower tarp traps in heat. I hope they black tent next year with a tarp 30 feet off the ground. We'll see who's laughing then!!

(Jonathan) - 11:30
The tarp is peaceful... I didn't even have to be here today, but I somehow ended up over here anyway. Oh, wait, that was because I left my planner here (my precious....) and I needed it because the dirty thugs of corporate america have enslaved my unsuspecting time-management skills to their evil designs. I mean, for real, it's an evil conspiracy.... Obama, listen up: exchange the failing WAR ON DRUGS for new, more righteous struggle: a desperately-needed WAR ON DAYTIMERS!!! Oh, well, at least the tarp has apple chips.

(Tim Lin) - 13:00
A cameraman came by with a stupid girl. She was trying to sound professional while they were filming stuff about black tenting, but she just sounded stupidly fake. Then they filmed some people who were just waiting in line for the basketball game. These stupid people weren't even tenting, but in this scripted interview, they just told them to pretend like they were. That's not even the worst part. The worst part is that they used OUR tent as the backdrop for their interview. These losers were standing right outside our tent, filming a bunch of non-tenting morons and trying to sound professional. What. The. Heck. I am absolutely livid. It's not like they didn't know we were in the tent either. I entered/left the tent multiple times while they were doing that to throw stuff away. I'm going to call her Shaphriqua to protect her privacy. I hate you Shaphriqua. You and your stupid cameraman. Go dig yourself a hole, jump in the hole, shave your back, get lipo for your morbidly obese self, implode, spontaneously combust, and die. In that order. Because you'll never grow up to be anything more than the less-than-mediocre reporter you are. You're so fat that every time you go to the beach, the tide comes in. You're so ugly that you turned Medusa to stone. You're so stupid that you got run over by a parked car. If you had a brain cell, it would die of loneliness. Nobody likes you. You have no friends. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries. In the words of Regina George, "Boo you whore."

(Claire McIlvenny) - 13:25
HAHAHAHAHAHA to Tim, he had the best quote of all today.
Upon hearing "Shaphriqua" finish her TV interview, Tim yells across K-Ville:


In other news, Hannah and I are sitting in the text, NEXT TO the imposters who were on TV as they queue for tonight.... I couldn't leave the tent for lunch so I'm eating a high protein 'Power Crunch' bar from Wilson Gym. Yum...

Hahahaha Tim is so angry, I wish everyone could have seen it.

(Claire McIlvenny) - 13:47
I just opened Jonathan's knife out of interest. Now I can't close it. Hannah doesn't know how to either. So...err.. yeah. Watch out.

(Lewis Purcell) - 14:26
Don't know why I'm in the tent, not my shift. I failed a Russian test today - have to organize my life! I was going to stand in line now for the game at 9 but decided to just walk up at 9; can't give that much time to such an unimportant obvious win like tonight. Annoyed.

(Robert Francis) - 14:40
The only thing that could make this blog more awesome would be if Laura, Nick, Hannah, and Brandon started using it! There are more than four people in our group! Shame on all! And also please notice the quotes of the day section that has been added to Mon. and Tues.

(Tim Lin) - 16:38
I just noticed that Claire misquoted me. I actually told her to "go die" rather than "kill herself." At least, I think I said that. And I'm not sure what the "A..." is, but I definitely did not say what that implies. That is all. Now I must finish my homework so I can marketplace it up before lining up for the game.

(Robert Francis)- 17:21
Just found out that the game is during Spring Break. This is incredibly lame and makes Robert unhappy.

(Claire McIlvenny) - 18:44
Tim is most definitely in denial. I am 95% sure he explicitly said Shaphriqua should "kill herself". Nevermind, as long as some kind of death is involved.

I am extremely sunburnt/windburnt on my face today and I don't understand. I only sat outside for 20 minutes. Sara Adam (on being told this news/seeing my face) - "Claire, you're so English".
Yes, yes I am.

(Esther Showalter) - 20:50
I hate to interrupt the lovely Shaphriqua-rant, I really do, but I want to tell everyone an important fact. When we started tenting I had misplaced my old sneakers. That's ok, I told myself, I'll just wear my newer sneakers for now until I find the old ones. Rain all night? No problem, I'll be under a tarp the whole time. Little did I know. Thanks to line monitors who insist on ridiculous formalities like "tent checks" (very creative and original name, people), I now have two pairs of old sneakers.
That is all.

(Tim Lin) - 23:58
I shook Dick Vitale and the Blue Devil's hand during the game. Good fortune is upon us.

And regarding Jonathan's post, tl;dr.

(a series of out-of-context quotes that should by no means be taken at face value)

"Who's in this sleeping bag?" ~Brandon Semel
"It's me!" ~Laura Ezell
"Oh. I thought you were a guy. I was about to throw myself on you." ~Brandon Semel

"I can still smell the lipstick in his breath." ~Lewis Purcell

"Tim and Hannah should get married." ~Laura Ezell
"I can't do that! She's a girl!" ~Tim Lin

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